Top, new, profitable graduate degree programs

October 12, 2011 in Techno-Consumerism

On the lookout for a graduate diploma that will allow you to earn big bucks? Here are two degrees from the college catalog:*

MPS – Master of Postal Service—-”Are you tired of having to shut off all of the house lights to avoid needless chitchat by pretending you aren’t home when your toothless mail man comes to your door? If so, you will be happy to learn the government is now requiring all postal workers to have a MPS degree. Several  private and for-profit universities will be enrolling students in the fall 2012 school year. These 16-month graduate degree programs will offer mandatory  courses with titles such as “efficient line management” and “English for native English speakers (also known as ENE).” Estimated tuition costs per semester will be around $20k. The target audience for the degree will be social workers seeking career transitions, as the economic return on the degree will be substantially higher than their current degrees…”

Combined MFA / CSS Certificate—–”Because a Master’s in fine arts will cost you an average of 100K bucks and you will end up working at Starbucks, our university now offers a postgraduate certificate in CSS. No, it’s not a certificate in Cascading Style Sheets– it’s a degree in Customer Service Science (CSS)! For an add-on of only 12 credits, you can fine tune your skills on the cash register and addressing customer complaints as to why there is oil paint in coffee cups.”

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*a few liberties have been taken with the wording